Sadness of the Emotionless
by Kasaihanaa
Summary: Mai & Zuko first kiss: set pre and post the Agni Kai with Ozai..


Mai's POV

The words of what was happening rang in Mai's ears as she sat in the crowd. The crowd of people who had flocked to see the Agni Kai, it was thought to be between a General and the Fire Nation Prince. She didn't know how to hold in her emotions, she was pretty much latched onto Ty Lee's side, having disappeared farther into the crowd away from Azula. She couldn't handle the sadistic look on her face. It was the look of Azula winning, her winning being the only star child; she was going to finally be above Zuko. Mai had her arms wrapped tightly around Ty Lee, the whole time she was trying to console her. She couldn't though. She was terrified for Zuko, sad for him in every way possible. She wouldn't be able to sit there and see him lose, knowing it would come. She wasn't even watching, sort of staring at the back of someone's head in the crowd. Her thoughts distant from everything, she could hear the footsteps of someone yet not the words. There were woops and yells from the crowd.

When the words of the Fire Lord's booming voice sounded, she looked up; looking at the supposed fight in front of them. Zuko was on his knees, tears in her eyes from what she could see. He had refused to fight his own father. Her heart stopped, watching the Fire Lord draw closer to his son. Her hand covered her mouth to muffle an almost scream. She wanted to scream for Zuko to get up, to run, and to hide. Anything would be better than sitting there idle. It was breaking her heart; she didn't know she was moving forward till she was at the front of the crowd. Close to the place the fight had taken place. Ty Lee having followed after her, she was pulling her back. Knowing she didn't need to see him be hurt. She didn't even know why she was so upset by it. This was the boy who had pushed her into the fountain, the boy she threw mud at for years. What was going on with her heart? It was as if it was shattering to pieces. The voice of the Fire Lord rang in her ears. "You **will** learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher." It made a small scream echo off of her hand, the hand that had multiple scars from training with her knives. She wished she had those knives right then, she wanted to help him. When she saw the flame of the lord's hand come down on the princes face, Ty Lee pulled her into her arms. Her face buried in her friends shoulder at the echoing screams of Zuko, tears now bubbling over and falling into the girl's shirt. She could feel Ty Lee running her hand through her now longer jet black hair. Though the tiny buns on her head were covered by a pale red bun covers. She cried into her friends shoulder, she didn't even know what was going on around her now.

When she looked up, everyone was gone from the room. It was only her and Ty Lee. Not even Azula was there, which was surprising. Usually she'd of stayed to mock her for crying over something that had to be done. The thought made anger bubble up in her chest; it ate away at the pain of him being hurt. She wanted to find him, she needed to find him. She wanted to console him, and be there for him. She knew though that he wouldn't want that at this time, not if what had happened really affected him. She chewed on her lips, thanking her friend. Headed off to find him, hoping they had taken him to be seen by a doctor for the burn. It was killing her, she was pretty much shoving people out of her way as she went on her search. There was a crowd of people outside of Zuko's room, and their voices were low. When she heard the screams, it sent chills down her spine. She shuddered at the sound, having to cover her mouth to not scream again. She wasn't used to showing so much emotion, it made her scared. Terrified of what would happen if she continued. She moved into the shadows, closing her eyes. Listening to the echoing screams of the Prince. She would hide there as long as it took for the people to leave. She needed to be there for him, even if it was talking to him outside of the door. There was this feeling inside of her, a type of butterfly feeling. It was in her stomach and her lower chest, and she was shivering. Cold, with goose bumps everywhere. What was going on? Why did she care so much?

Then the thought hit her; hit her like a ton of bricks. She loved Zuko, she couldn't tell him that; too afraid of the rejection that would come with it. He could never feel the same about her. Could he? She bit her lip, she could see the sun setting from the far window on the right. The guards of the room and doctors were leaving. The screams had stopped, and there was a calm quiet about everything. Though she knew that calm wouldn't last, something bad was coming. She knew when it did it'd be almost too much to bear. When she knew everyone was gone, she moved out of the shadows. Going straight for the room; slipping inside on quiet graceful feet. Though a familiar voice spoke up, "I don't need any more doctors!" The voice was frustrated, and stubborn. It made a small smile come to her face; it turned up the corner of her mouth. "I'm not a doctor." She said quietly, it was clear in her voice that she had been crying. Looking over him, she frowned. There was a large bandage over his left side of his face. It made the tears well up once again, and they began to fall. She watched him sit up in the bed. "Mai." His voice was of utter shock and sadness. She could see the tears now forming in his own eyes, which made hers fall fast. "I think I love you Zuko, I really think I do." She said, her voice was sort of squeaky from the crying. It was also hoarse from it, her eyes already having pink circles underneath them from the tears from earlier. There was as well a red mark under her nose from the wiping of her runny nose. Then the words sounded she thought she would never hear, "I think I do too Mai." His voice was calmer now, and even more saddened. It made her heart leap into her chest. It made her make an odd noise from the tears, a noise of sadness and happiness all in one. She watched him stand on shaky weak legs, and she moved to his side. Her hands going to his face, being careful of the bandage that was placed there. Knowing what lay beneath it, and it made the tears continue falling. She watched him wince when her hand accidently brushed the bandage, moving to hold the side of his head. She looked up at him, her eyes flashing from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes. Soon, her eyes were closed, and she was in his embrace. His slightly rough but soft lips pressed against hers. Their tears combined now. "Be strong for me Mai." Were the last words she heard from him for the next three years.

Zuko's POV

Zuko sat leaning up against a wall, the entrance to the Agni Kai arena just to his left. 'I can do this' he thought to himself repetatively, 'i can make him proud of me.' It sounded easy enough, just defeat the general and he'll be proud, but he couldn't shake the pit in his stomach, that unsettling feeling that something wasn't right, that he should back out now before its too late. He immediately shook as much of that thought from his mind. 'Not today, Agni please not today' he thought to himself, he knew that life had it out for him, but he didn't want to believe that today.

He walked as confidently as he could through the entrance, doing a visual sweep of the crowd, he shifted his gaze from his Uncle Iroh to his sister Azula, but once had spotted Mai he paused. A worried look painted plainly on her face, clinging desperately to Ty Lee, she was never worried, this caused the pit to come back again, a ever present discomfort that had moved up to the bottom of his throat. He tried to give her a reassuring nod, before kneeling down with the red shawl over his shoulders. 'You can do this' he repeated in his head, playing it over and over for some kind of support, he needed it, he needed to be strong for this. It was time to turn around, face this head on like he knew he had to. He rose to his feet letting the shawl fall gently off his shoulders, then everything slowed down. That pit in his throat went down to his chest, making it beat ten fold, he could hear every beat, the blood circulating faster with each breath. He felt hot, but not the right form of hot, this heat made him weak, sweat beaded swiftly onto his forhead and his head started spinning.

He looked in front of him, at his father with that powerful smirk on his face, it burned holes into him, 'No.' He mouthed the word, letting it travel silently from his lips. Time sped up again, he found himself on his hands and knees, pleading to him, "please." He kept repeating just above a whisper. "I only had the Fire Nation's best interests at heart." That came out louder, so everyone could hear, he wanted them to believe it, he needed them to. "I am your loyal son" came out next, tears streaming continously down his cheeks looking up at the man he called father, the man who despised him. He finally got his answer, "you WILL learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher." He looked down at the floor "I won't fight you." He whispered "please", it was no longer directed to his father, it was a plea for his life. He froze when he saw the fire in his father's palm, the flames were mocking him, telling him he pain was unexplainable, excruciating and throbbing, it felt like a million needles puncturing his face all at once, then being dragged down his skin immediately after. He wailed falling to the floor, writhing in the pain, letting his tears add to the already searing pain. His Uncle had come down from the stands after Ozai walked away not giving his son a glance, "prince Zuko" he murmured picking him up from the floor.

The doctors fussed over him, picking up bandages, repeatedly asking how he was feeling, as if it wasn't obvious enough. A nurse came with a jar, pouring a liquid onto a gauze and proceeded to pat the burn with it, without warning, causing him to scream from the unexpected stinging. Another came around to remove the charred pieces of flesh from his wound, attempting to lightly pull off bits of burned skin from his bleeding face, that led to more wailing. Once they finished he gaves at the floor, resting his forearms on his thighs, the bandage over his eye blocked sight, and his right eye was blurry from the puffiness of crying. He heard light footsteps come through the door, and tilted his head slightly, "I don't need anymore doctors!" He growled, still half choking back tears.

"I'm not a doctor." His face fell, he knew that voice all too well, even though her voice cracked a bit from obvious crying he could still tell it was her even if she yelled in a crowded room. "Mai." he murmured keeping his face down, he was ashamed, he thought she may think he was a failure too, a coward. But the next words out of her mouth made his heart drop, it echoed there for a moment, sinking in. "I think I love you Zuko, I really do." Played over and over like a lullaby, but he knew it wouldn't stay there long. He felt his tears get hot, his hands shook, he always knew he liked her, maybe he even loved her too, they weren't the same kids pushing eachother into fountains and throwing mud. His head started spinning, why'd he have to do this now? He clenched the sides of the bed, thinking hard if he should tell her or not, if he didn't now he may now ever get the chance again. "I think I do too." He said quietly just above a whisper, he lifted his head to look at her, more tears falling freely from his face, she was crying too, it made him feel terrible, to see her cry like that, over him.

He immediately stood, weak legs ready to collapse beneath him, she hurried to his side, getting a full view of the large bandage over his eye. He looked down, thinking it would make her leave, or think differently of him. He was surprised when she touched his face, careful not to hurt him anymore she gently moved her hand up to the side of his head. Lightly she grazed the bandage, causing him to whince slightly, he shifted his gaze up to hers, her light amber eyes glistened sadly with tears. He wrapped his arms around her then, clutching her as if he never wanted to let go. It was as if she was being dragged away from him and he was holding to her for dear life. He loosened up a bit, bringing a hand to her face wiping a tear from her eyes, before immediately pressing his lip onto hers. Their faces wet from their combination of tears. "Be strong for me Mai." He whispered before letting her go.


End file.
